Monday, August 15, 2011

Remembering.

Well... What if I don't want to forget?

I've heard people say before, that in order to get over people, you need to forget them. The people you liked and the people you said you loved and the people you do love. The emotions you felt, the times you had, etc. After you forget all of that over time, then you can move on and love someone new, yes?

Well, what if I simply DO NOT want to forget?
Some people will argue, "Why? Don't you want to forget all the bad times, and the heartbreak you went through?" And I simply would rebuttle, "No."
I don't want to forget the wonderful time I had with you, I don't want to forget the feelings I had for you, I don't want to forget the way I felt when you messaged me, I don't want to forget that fight I had with you, I don't want to forget when you broke my heart.
"You're crazy."
Yes. I'm crazy because I want to remember all the emotions I had. The emotions that were so real, so vivid, so very important to me at the time. No I don't want to hold on to them forever, yes I want to get over them, but I want to REMEMEBER them. They were real. They make me, me.
There are certain times I don't want to remember though. But it's almost like I recieve a new view when I do remember, though. So, I guess I do want to remember still. Just some less often.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Wull hai der.

Yeah. Hey. I know what you're thinking.

'PFHA. Kayla is just gonna make excuses on her blog forever and never post. Well I don't even care anymore. TAKE THAT.'

But really! It's not like that! I plan on taking this back up when school starts. ^^''

NEW THINGS: [Updates:]
- I like anime.
- I have a photography business.
- New bands, new music, lotsa concerts.
- Clothesssssssssss!
- Hopefully moving rooms yaaaaaaaaaay!
- I'm even more in love with Mark every day. <3 [8 months!]
- I have glasses!
- I joined a cult! [No I'm kidding, that ones a joke.]



WELL I HAD A BUNCH MORE HERE THAT WAS AMAZING BUT BLOGGER NEVER ACTUALLY POSTED THIS APPARENTLY. :( So this is what you get, kthxbai.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Been Meaning to Say

To be honest, I'm really not liking this. The whole faking-like-it-never-happened thing. I mean, it's good that we're talking and all, but you act as if I just met you. Like the friend who 'I also know' wasn't someone I introduced YOU to. Like I don't already know this and that about you, you have to inform me.

You're an interesting character, you know that. You're intriguing. You're a false sense of security. I hate it. I hate how you can pull someone in, so much that they fall for you. For your witty sense of humour, your odd ways of viewing things that some how always makes so much sense, your love for things different.

But that's the thing. You do that, and then you kill them. You make them feel like everything and then you stab them in the heart with a rusty spork that's on fire.

Except for, that literally happening would probably feel less painful than what you do.

You take a person, you change them, you make them feel less significant, you kill them, you leave them forever different - You leave them broken hearted, and with no trust for anyone else, since you took all of theirs and shattered it.

And you do this over and over.

Then after some time, you make them your acquaintance, so you're free of the guilt you build up, and the process again starts with someone new.

The sad part, is that you curse them. They'll never get over you. They'll still want what they thought they had with you, they'll still want to be your friend, they'll still feel insignificant.

Unless they have someone they deserve, who tells them the truth.

We can only hope that each person you kill finds this person.

Thank God I did. Maybe some day, I'll tell you just who you are. Of course, I wont stab you in the heart with a rusty spork that's on fire. I'll just tell you, in the sweetest way, the very truth you deserve, the reality you run from, that you take out on others. And I'll be free of you, I'll have said what I needed to say, and I'll have been the better person. And maybe, that will stay with you, and you'll get what you've been giving.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Oh, hey.

Okay, so, it's been like, what? A month? Something like that, I'm not really sure.

Why have I been completely absent from blogger?

1. The musical (just ended)
2. Daily life
3. Registering for a new school
Etc, etc.

I've no time for this right now. So, hopefully I'll be back this summer, or next school year. Because I have no time for this but frankly, I still want to blog. I love it. So, I'll return.

And when I return I'll be happy and new.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Eh.

So I haven't posted in a really long time.

I've been busy.

Like... Really busy.

And I wanted to write about:

-Valentines Day with Mark
-My Birthday Party
-My birthday day
-Other misc. stuff.

But I won't get to for awhile still, I don't think. Because I'm still busy. *shrug* Hope I can write soon.

Adieu.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Little Things

I don't know if many find this cute... But...

My boyfriend Mark and I both had off days today. We hung out together earlier, but there was an off-ness about it we both recognized... We just weren't in good moods.

Well, we traded texts and such for a little while, but something was still kind of unsettling, because of our moods.

By the end of the night, we were both still feeling pretty bleh. I wanted to hear from him, and I believe he wanted to hear from me as well. But we were both just kinda off.

I don't know what it was, but something made me decide that... Maybe if I let him know I was thinking of him, it'd brighten his mood. And, if I knew I made him happy, I'd be happy.

Well, I was wearing his shirt he gave me to sleep in again, so I figured, why not send a picture of me wearing the shirt to him? I've no makeup and I have my moon and clouds fuzzy pajama pants on, but no biggie.

So I send the picture with the message 'Goodnight, love. I'm wearing your shirt thing. x) Sleep well. <3'

He responded with 'Wanted to call you and say goodnight, but ah well. Goodnight, Love. Hearing from you shook me out of a bit of a funk, thank you.'

Puzzled, I looked at my call history. Looks like he called me, right as I was taking the picture, and so my phone didn't ring.

So, we phoned each other and said goodnight.

I just love it, how as I was doing something to let him know I was thinking of him, he was doing something to let me know he was thinking of me. :)

It makes him happy when I wear the shirt, and I love phone calls. :) The little things make me so happy.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Real Life Fairy-Tale

Many people claim that chivalry is dead, and Hollywood-esque stories don't ever happen. They watch their romance movies and sigh, wishing it could only happen in real life.

I've always been one to believe in them, though I'd never actually seen it. I'd think... 'Maybe somewhere... This stuff actually happens.'

Well.

I got to see a real life movie-romance happen between a good friend of mine and her love. I'd love to tell you the story.


Friday I went to see a play with Mark and some friends. One of those friends being Katelyn. After the show, I asked her if she wanted to come hang out with Mark and I for some pizza, then she could sleep over. It appeared that she wanted to, but was hesitant because she wanted to spend some time with her boyfriend. I told her to just bring him along, but the way she put it, that wasn't possible.

After awhile, she decided she'd stay the night. Under one condition.

Well I was confused by it for awhile but agreed, and we headed for my house after a quick detour so she could grab her things. We met up with Mark at my place and enjoyed some pizza, after she had a phone call with her boyfriend. After Mark left, we got ready to meet him.

I downloaded the software, set up the laptop camera, and logged on to video chat with Ryan, Katelyns boyfriend, who lived very far away.

It was all introductions and the usual at first. Katelyn had previously told me all about Ryan, but as always I have to decide whether or not to 'approve' after meeting my friends boyfriends.

This wasn't the average meeting, but it ended with me repeating 'I SO APPROVE' over and over.

We were all just chatting for the first little while, talking about little things, sharing what music we liked, what interests we had, etc. We joked around and shared stories, it was really nice.

Within the talk time, I noticed they'd trade comments. They talked like lovers do, but not just average lovers. They called each other 'love' instead of 'baby', they'd comment on each others eyes, they'd smile at each other through the video cameras... Not average smiles but real smiles. They smiled with their eyes.

Before you assume I'm just being my incredibly cheesy self, reader, know that you can't understand this until you see it for yourself. I've never seen love between two people before... Before this.

Anyways, when it got to the point where we were warmed up to talking with each other, like I had my animal hat on, we'd joked around and brought out my lightsaber, laughed over stories from us with our friends and his with his friend, etc... Like you know, got the gist of what we were all about... We couldn't really stop talking. When they'd go off, talking about little things to each other, he'd always apologize for me having to sit and listen, but I was always listening with great interest, and trying my hardest not to squeal. x) Then when Katelyn and I would go off on inside jokes, he'd give us a look and we'd laugh and explain. It was all so very fun and entertaining.

Good gosh too, he was polite. And incredibly sweet to her. And caring. And... good gosh, HOLLYWOOD-ESQUE. Like, you-dont-ever-get-this-type-of-guy-anymore. 's crazy.

We ended up talking into the wee hours of the morning. When it got to the point where we were both about to pass out, he suggested he help her fall asleep like he always does, by telling her stories.

He explained that his stories are not always ones of the past, but ones he plans and hopes on having in the future.

He started telling the story, and I was excited because Mark and I got to be in it as well as them.

He told, in detail (which I didn't expect), of how Katelyn and I had received a pre-paid manicure and shopping trip to go get all dressed up nice. Then as we left the mall, we were handed notes that gave us directions to a park we knew, and where to go to get a surprise. We found the park, and both followed the directions to find roses spread out with another couple of notes. As we rushed up and read the notes, we were told more directions, which led us to find two tables set up beautifully, with the person we expected standing next to the tables, waiting for us. This is when he included that it was Mark who had actually thought up the idea, which made me smile. x) We walked up to the tables and had a lovely dinner and a great time.

The story continued on, where we started to walk back to the car, and he told in detail of his and Katelyns walk back. He included extremely sweet details, like combing his hand through her hair and kissing her softly...

I was just dying, listening and trying not to either squeal or cry because of the cuteness.

Anyway, the story went on, and I noticed that Katelyn had fallen asleep. The whole thing was just the sweetest thing ever.

I kept listening, completely intrigued in the story, which he kept telling until the end and until he was sure she was asleep. Once the story was over, he whispered little things like 'I'm right here, love.' so as to make sure she was secure until he knew she was asleep. When she was asleep, I heard him softly tell her he loved her and type a little before shutting his camera off. I looked up at the computer screen, and he had typed something like 'Thanks for being patient through this, Kayla. I fall asleep better knowing she's sleeping sound.'

The whole thing was just unbearably cute. Absolutely un-real. I understood then why she was so smitten over him. She really did have reason to be.

And the whole thing was real.

The best part about it, is that I know things like the stories he told are going to happen. He's already done what he can from far away, and when they finally unite, I just know it's going to be wonderful for the both of them.

Gosh I'm going to start crying. Stop it, Kayla! You can handle the sweetness!

I only hope to experience such someday in my life. I knew fairy-tale-esque love was out there, and I got to see it! Now, I just need to have it myself. I know it will happen.

Moments like these really give me hope. I wish Katelyn and Ryan the best possible forever and ever, and would like to thank them for letting me spend some time with them. :) You're both absolutely inspiring.

Thanks for reading, have a happily ever after. <3